I had stopped blogging a while ago. I was uninspired, and just didn’t feel like putting the time in. All day today, however, I found myself musing a lot, and thought “I feel like I should be tracking this experience more than just on Insta.” My journal is my journal, but this felt share-able. So here I am.
When quarantine started, I was really anxious. I’m not a person who does a lot of stuff on nights or weekends, primarily because I travel a ton for work, and spend my work days in 8-12 hours of meetings with other people. As an introvert, that’s about all the human interaction I can handle. As a STRONG Scorpio and Enneagram 8, the thing I hate the most is being told what to do. So the idea of being told I can’t go do things, really made me want to go do things, even though I usually am pretty happy to just catch up on stuff around the house on weekends.
Fast forward a week after stay at home orders started, and I was sick. Really sick. I was scared that I had COVID-19 based on my symptoms, and as an asthmatic, I knew this could be really bad. Thankfully, after hitting my low, and getting tested, my test came back negative as my body was on it’s return to normalcy.
Today I realized, I’m weirdly grateful for this time. I’m making extra effort to connect with people in my life who are important. I’m focusing on my energy levels and listening to my body in a way I haven’t in a really long time. I’m enjoying the little things: the sounds of birds before the sun rises, the cool breeze on my back porch in the evenings as the sun is starting to set, taking time to make dinner or lunch in ways I can’t usually on weekdays because I’m home, the pleasure of making my own margarita. There’s a lot I could be angry or annoyed about right now, but I’m taking it all in stride as much as I can.
I’m grateful for my friends and colleagues who are on the front lines of this pandemic every single day. I’m grateful for the privilege in my life that allows me to work from home, to buy food when I need it, to afford to order in from local restaurants. I’m grateful to be able to support the service people in my life as if they aren’t forced not to work. I’m grateful for friends and family who check in regularly. I’m grateful to live in a safe neighborhood with neighbors who will stop and chat while way more than 6 feet from each other.
So while this time won’t last, and tomorrow I may feel different. I’m grateful that I’m grateful. I’m taking stock of the things bringing me peace in this time, and will find ways to bring them into my life when we’re back to “normal”.